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2014
Thursday, 2 January 2014 • 05:29 • 0 comments

Happy New Year 2014! Can't believe its already 2014.. and i'm 18 this year oh God. So, last year was a great yet depressing year for me. I fell in love, i had fun with my friends, sleepovers, school memories and most of all, SPM. I'm glad that SPM is over. So there are too many things that i wanna do and have this year.

1. Go to concerts/showcases to meet my hubbies (Block B, BAP, Bangtan and others)
2. Spend time/holiday trip with my hunny bunny friends
3. Iphone 5S
4. Nikon camera
5. Korean, Mandarin and Spanish Language Classes
6. Get into a ((good)) college/university
7. Be more responsible
8. Be good to my parents
9. Wanna get a freaking job before i enter the college/university life
10. Get my driving liscense
11. Rent a house with my friends (or maybe next year)

AND MORE.

Well, what is sad is my dad didnt let me have a job for now because he said he still have money and stuff and im like "i dont want you to give me money.. all i want is experience, pocket money and also to spend some quality time working on something good when i'm bored rather than just sit at home doing nothing" BUT, he still didnt let me. Well, i didnt talk with my dad for almost a week now. I didnt even answer when he calls me, i didnt even look at his face and stuff like that. I do miss talking to him but i'm not a kid anymore that you can keep me like im a cat in a cage. I'M 18. I dont know when i will talk to him again. Soon maybe. Hopefully.

So, that's all for now. Can't wait till i get my new phone tho! Again, Happy New Year everyone! :>

B-Bomb :>


SPM IS OVER!
Wednesday, 4 December 2013 • 07:54 • 0 comments

So.. SPM is over. And my high school life is over too. I will miss every single thing. Teachers, friends, canteen, my classes, school song, the skylite, libraby, music room, my lockers, textbooks.. E V E R Y T H I N G. Also the most important person in my life, Richard :'( All those memories..

 Anyways, i dont wanna talk about something sad blablabla. So me and Ira signed up at the same driving academy so we will both go to the class together on the 15th. Can't wait to get my liscence(?)! And i'm trying so hard to save up my money for concerts next year. Besides that, me, Fatin, Ira and Aina decided to get a job for the time being before we get our results(OMG FUCK) and before we enter the University and College. At least we dont have to use ALL of our parents' money all the time and be independent right?

 Knowing that all of us will be parting our own way after this is making me sad. I mean, the 3 of them are the bestest friends that i've ever met. I used to have friends before them, like many of them. But none of them are like Ira, Aina and Fatin. The 3 of them completes my lonely life since i met them. I swear i dont want us to separate and stay together forever. And for Sarah, although we're not that close but i feel really comfortable when we're together.. it feels different. Sarah, you're one of the important person to me too :) 

 Thank you to all of you guys who have been by my side all this while. I hope that we will be friends forever and always. I love you guys so damn much, more than anyone else in this world. Let's spend our time together for now and make good memories together so that we can remember them and smile or laugh when we're lonely, sad or something like that. I love you guys so much. 

-Yana-

Richard.
Saturday, 30 November 2013 • 05:54 • 0 comments

I miss you. I miss you Richard. Richard.





No Limit Gon' Touch The Sky - Team B
Saturday, 26 October 2013 • 08:41 • 0 comments

So team B lost for the WIN Final Battle and team A won. Congratulations Team A for winning and goodluck on your debut. I am happy for you guys like really. And at the same time, i feel so sad for team B. I live-streamed the finale and when team B performed their self-composed song called "CLIMAX", i cried so damn hard. Especially when B.I did his solo part under the spotlight by himself saying about his hardworks and dreams about himself and the other members. It was damn good. It was a really sad song and it touches everyone's heart especially mine. At the end of the song, YG's CEO was about to cry. I saw that, everyone saw that too. Not only him, 2NE1, Seungri and Epik High wow-ed so hard for their performance since it was really meaningful. Tablo nearly cried a bit and park bom did cry. CL was amazed even her voice sounds really shaky when she was commenting about the performance. I feel really sad and i seriously wanted to hug Bobby because he misses his mother so much.. Even the other members cried on stage. I salute them for making such a great, meaningful, and best song eventhough they havent debut yet. It touches my heart EVERY SINGLE time i watch the performance again and again and i couldnt even stop crying. Now i realised how much i love team B so fucking much.. I even change my song on my blog and tumblr to their song just because its nice, way too nice. I'm doing this, writing about team B like this just to make myself know how much team B has affected my life so much. I believe in them and i hope that they will make a successful debut in the future ans will still be under YG. And i seriously hope that YG wont change or replace the members. I will pray for them always and forever. To Team A, i will also pray for your success. Make all YG family proud of you guys. For Team B, work harder and prove to everyone that you guys are gonna be the best group that will make every single fan of yours proud. Even your family. I wish all 11 of you goodluck. 


Thank you team B for making me cry so many times everytime i hear your songs, look at your pictures, videos, your laughs, smiles and everything. I love you Team B.





What and How I Feel About You.
Sunday, 20 October 2013 • 07:41 • 0 comments

  A song by Block B - Be The Light.



I was listening to this song for so many times without knowing what it means, and suddenly I fell in love with this song and i kept thinking about Richard. And i even cried. This song suddenly reminds me of the moments of me with Richard when we took lots of pics together, when he smiled at me, when he looked at me sweetly, when we made eye contact, when he walk passed me, and when i was looking at him without him knowing. All of the memories attacked my brain and heart whenever or wherever i hear this song. So i was curious about the meaning, and i checked the english translation and, the song is totally 100% about how i feel. The lyrics are so about Richard. All of the words are about him. And this is why i love this song so much that i even cry before knowing what was the lyrics are all about. It's about Richard and how i feel about him and why i love him. 

It’s dark and I can’t see
I put out my hand but only the wind clashes 
I don’t know why but this place is strange
I’m getting used to this misery
I live like a shadow

With the useless hope that you’ll look at me at least once
The conversation I have with you all night in my imagination
I deep inside of you (I can’t get over)
Only you can light up my surroundings

Be the light
Shine on my black and hidden heart
Melt me from being frozen so that I’ll be so dazzling
That no one else can look at me

Be the light (shine your light on me baby) 
Be the light uh uh uh oh 
Be the light (shine your light on me baby) 
Even when you slightly pass by me, 
I feel like everything has been taken away from me

I don’t want to lose you
You linger by my side like my breath
But I can’t touch you so I get more desperate

Be the sun during the day and make me warm
Change into the moon at night and give me an ecstatic romance
I chase after something that twinkles far away, I can see in the dark
The day the rain stops and you shine on me
This love will bloom again

Be the light
Shine on my black and hidden heart
Melt me from being frozen so that I’ll be so dazzling
That no one else can look at me

Be the light (shine your light on me baby)
Be the light oh oh oh
Be the light (shine your light on me baby)
(You always by my side look)

You become clearer in the thick darkness 
Making my eyes go blind
I pace back and forth at the place where your breath touches
Filling up the empty spots and making a girl like me into a memory
Watching over you from the same spot is the way to keep you without pain
You’re all I see and you’re all I need
Just be there like you are now, please

Be the light, ho ho
Even if I cover my eyes with my hands
I can’t erase you

Be the light
Shine on my black and hidden heart
Melt me from being frozen so that I’ll be so dazzling
That no one else can look at me.

Graduated on 5th October 2013
Saturday, 12 October 2013 • 06:10 • 0 comments

It has been such a long time since i last updated this blog. For a month maybe? Too much things happened at school and home. Bad and good things. Anyways i am no longer a sbu student anymore.. So i am now an ex-senior since i graduated last week. I am so sad to leave school in 2 months time after spm with lots of unforgettable memories and moments. Teachers, friends, homeworks, sleeping in class, got pinched hard by miss tengku noor, events held, and most of all my crushes that i used to like aaaaand still liking now hehe. The fact that i'll  be leaving all of these things is making me feel so sad. I feel so heavy to leave sbu.

 So based on the title, yup, our school had the graduation day ceremony on the 5th of Oct at this one freaking huge place with airconds HAHAHAHAHA and it went well. I was nervous to go up on stage and i really find it funny because i was just gonna take a crappy blue file with my examinations results since i was in form 1 till the latest exam which is gerak gempur. Obviously i didnt show that file to my parents, and furthermore, they didnt even ask for the file lol. Okay, here's the pictures. I took em from ira and aina's blog because i am just way too lazy to upload my own pics from my ipod and phone to pc BUT there are some from my instagram ^^



 







So that is all that i can show hehehe. And lastly i would like to thank my parents and sis the most for coming and supporting me till now. You guys are the most important people in my life and i will never ever forget all those advices and encouragements that the three of you gave me although i didnt listen and follow. I love you. And also to my friends, especially Aina and Athirah, thanks for being by my side 24/7 when i needed you guys the most. All the sadness, happiness, fights, arguements that we've been through are the most memorable things that i would never forget. Thank you :>

And lastly, my solo shot. The graduated Yana!



Subway Laughs
Wednesday, 11 September 2013 • 04:09 • 0 comments

Hi. So at first i decided to have luch with Ira and Aina at Subway but then i asked Nia, Sarven and Ira's lover, Henry, to come along :> So at last they joined us. Since Henry joined us, we suggested to make Henry take Ira to 1Sham with him riding his bike... AND SOOOOOOO THEY DID. Okay they were so fucking cute pls i can cry.. while us, just have to walk on our own hahaha. And then luckily when we're not that far from the place where we put our bags, Aina forgot to take her purse along so we had to go back to our bags and take it while i asked the others to go first. So me and Aina were so emo-ish on our way to 1Sham bc we had to walk HAHAHAHAHA.

And then after we reached Subway, we ordered some foods and stuff to eat. And even Eliza and YunNi joined us there too. Henry re-arranged the chairs and tables bc theres like 8 of us LOL. And so we chit-chatted and we laughed so damn loud even everyone in the Subway were annoyed. And we took some lovely pictures together yay.


So here's all of us together.

And of course, me and Aina being so pretty OOPS.

We took some derp and crazy pictures too but Henry, Eliza and YunNi deleted em bc they thought they were so ugly in those pics. Hahaha. Its not that i'm gonna post it anywhere. But its okay, at least we have some good and cute pics :> And yeah, i was being a paparazzi so damn well, i took some lovely pics of Henry and Ira toooooooooo. Here;

So damn cute. I CANNOT.

And i was a bit sad tbvh bc everyone ate my hot & roll and it was spicy for me so i gave Henry to eat it all. So after that, i decided to buy something for Richard.. and with all of my friends' help, i bought a blue Superman t-shirt for him and i guess it'll look good on him, i swear. I was so fucking confused and scared if it doesn't fit him bc of the size but once again, with the boys' help, Henry and Sarven, they helped me with the t-shirt size. And finally, i bought the t-shirt. 

TADAAAA. Hope it'll looks good on you Richard :>

And now i am just so fucking scared and nervous to give this to him. And besides that, i thought of buying him a watch too but of course not the freaking expensive one. I need to buy it in the end of this month before i graduate since graduation day is on the 5th of October. Well, yeah. That's it for now. Thanks to you people who joined for Subway today.. You guys made me laugh so fucking loud today. Love you all xoxo



2nd & 4th Sept, his smile.
Saturday, 7 September 2013 • 09:54 • 0 comments

Hi again. I decided to post something cute that happened on the 2nd and 4th Sept.. where Richard smiled at me so damn sweetly at the school's canteen.

 So on the 2nd Sept.. I was eating my fruit and the school bell rang telling us that the recess time is over. But whatever, my friends know that i eat so damn slow so they cant stop me from eating like that. And there was some annoying prefects telling me to hurry up but i dont give a damn. So, when i was still eating, Richard's gang came and walked by pass me, Ira and Aina but Richard wasnt there with his friends, which is weird i think?

 Then after a few seconds, i saw him walking leisurely and hotly alone all the way behind his friends while munching food that he ate in his mouth. I kept looking at him without looking anywhere else.. just him. And as he keeps coming closer to me to catch his friends, he looked around at the place where me and my friends were sitting and i kept looking at him, like normal. And then suddenly his eyes locked to mine while i was freaking munching my favourite fruit and yups, HE SMILED AT ME. I was shocked tbvh bc it was damn beautiful.. I smiled back at him and Ira and Aina saw him smiling at me burst out laughing and squeling so hard until ira fell down to the floor while aina was just finished eating.. I was still in shocked that i cant even say anything but my eyes were so damn big that they can even pop out HAHAHAHA. And so ira and aina even kicked me bc they were so jealous of me but to me, he was just being nice since he already know that i like him so yeah :> I couldnt stop smiling after that till the end of the day..

 Same goes on the 4th, i was just looking at him while i was eating and he was at this one stall to buy some food and as he was talking to one of his friends, he suddenly looked at me AND THIS TIME HE SMILED WIDELY SHOWING ALL HIS TEETH.... I- then i smiled back at him and me too, showing all my teeth back to him :> And then he turned around and leave. Too  bad Aina and Ira didnt see that bc they were too busy talking :( If not, we could fangirl together.. TOO BAD THO.

 I hope he will smile at me again in the following weeks until i leave school.. Amin. I love you Richard.

30th August, Richard.
• 08:52 • 0 comments

So, this is my first post on this blog. Thanks a lot to Aina for editing this shitty blog to this new lovely one :> Anyways, although its already the 7th September, i still want to talk about what happened on 30th August where our school had this "Semarak Merdeka Raya" celebration and it was one of the best event celebration ever ((well to me)).
  
Aaaaaand so, at first we all gathered at the skylite to hear some crappy speeches which is damn boring so me, Ira, Aina and Haziq decided to snap some pics together.. and i had this stupid idea of taking a pic with Richard and Eleven.. Lemme tell you, Richard is my current crush who i really love very deep in my heart and yes, he means a lot to me. Well Eleven.. is Richard's bestfriend or so-called gay partner lol. He is a famous dancer or we also call him as the SUPERSTAR. I really find him cute and adorable so yeah i wanted to snap a pic with of course, the superstar. But i was looking forward more on taking a picture with Riri :) 



At first, after the crappy speeches thingy ended, i was really excited and i cant even wait to take a pic with them. Well, they were separated from each other which i find it really weird tho because they are always together non-stop, like ALWAYS. When Richard is right in front of me, Eleven was i-dont-even-know-where. And when Eleven was beside me, theres no Richard. At last, an hour before the event ended, they were finally together. SOOOOOOOOOOOOO, i decided to go the them for so many times but i was fucking nervous that my heart can even pop out of my chest. And there was my other bestfriend, Fatin, who keeps telling me to go to him but i refused.. and she was kinda pissed(but in a funny way). Without warning me, Fatin walked straight to Richard and I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT SHE SAID and then Richard followed Fatin to come to me. Aina was screaming slowly at me "He's coming! HE'S COMING". I swear my heart....

Ok. He came to me and smiled like a freaking pretty angle and i was about to die at that time but i managed to control everything well haha. I even asked him "Can we..." and he cut me off by just saying "Yeah, sure". I AM-

So Aina took my polaroid and snapped a picture of us together BUT THERES THIS ONE MOTHERFUCKER WHO PHOTOBOMBED us. Ira shouted "EH!" and both me and Richard looked at the back of us and that guy who photobombed us just smiled and left. So, i went to my friends to take a look at the picture, and surprisingly, Richard joined us too look at the pic too! I swear i didnt expect that actually.

I laughed so damn hard and pissed tbvh bc the pic looks great but theres this creepy gorilla at the back so EFFFF YOU. So here's the pic where he joined us all to look at the pic that was taken; 


 This pic was taken by Fatin, thank you hehehe :>

Aaaanyways, when we were looking at the pic, i pissingly said "Alaaa, tak lawa dah!" or something like that and Richard laughed at me and he even said "Okay what" and he fucking looked at me like this; 

I swear this pic is freaking beautiful.

Ok then, i demanded for another pic.. And he laughed sweetly again and he agreed too! ((I didnt expect that i would demand for another pic)). And yay, the second pic turned out pretty and cutely. He joined us again to take a look at the picture ASDFGHJKL.

YUMZ. I swear i am not lying.. this pic makes us look like a couple I CANT. 

I fucking love this polaroid pic. Wonder what happened to the first one? Well, keep reading then hehe. And after that, he was still waiting tho and i dont even know why. I thought he was gonna leave right after that. But then theres this one voice from behind called my name "Yana, Richard, one more! One more!" and it was Fatin holding Aina's goddamn hd camera asking me and Richard to have one more pic.. So surprisingly again, he looked at me as if he is waiting for my answer and i said "Eh, berapa banyak ni?" to Fatin and he just looked at me and smile. HEHEHEHE. So we took not one, but TWO pics together and Fatin was shaking while holding the cam she even said "OMG why am i shaking?"

And it took her a very long time to hold the cam properly and as we were waiting for her to calm down, i said "Why are you shaking so much?" and "Cepatlah, kesian dia".. AND RICHARD LOOKED AT ME AND SMILED OHMYGOD PLS HELP. I looked at him back and we finally took the pics. Gladly, we arent awkward with each other at all.. look at how we took these pics, SO DAMN CLOSE.


Yups. There they are.

So after some pics together, he wanted to go back to his friends. He smiled and he reached out his hands which i think he wanted a handshake or something but i was blur at that time and he just said "Thank you" sweetly and bow at me. I, too, smiled and bow at him. And he went away..

And theres Eleven, i asked Fatin to call him for me and he agreed to take a pic with me. It was kinda short bc we took the polaroid pic together and he smiled like sfjehsnbvjkserbnvje SO DAMN CUTE 

 So damn cute.

Eleven left with a cute thank you. It was short but meaningful enough for me.

A few minutes after that, Ira had an idea and told me what her idea was. She told me to give one of the polaroid pic that i took with Richard so that he will remember me since it is my last year in SBU. I didnt agree at first bc i thought that he wouldnt accept it but in the end he gladly accepted it and kept it in his baju melayu pocket with the help of Fatin who gave him the polaroid pic. Fatin said he even asked whats my name so yeah she said "Dayana" and she even said my full name. So that was it. 

Aina and Fatin even wanted to take a pic with their crush which is the same person, Izzat. I helped them to call Izzat the Snow Prince and heres the pic of Aina and Izzat. And i willingly gave them both 2 of my polaroid films for them to take a pic with Izzat so here; 

 Sadly, i didnt get to take a picture of fatin and izzat's polaroid pic and put on this blog. 


I was really happy on that day eventhough i was a bit embarassed. But luckily, everything went well and i swear, Richard was so damn friendly and nice. I thought he was the sombong type but i was damn wrong. Sorry for judging you badly Richard. And thats all for today.. And Happy 56th Independence Day Malaysia :>

And bonus, Richard in full Baju Melayu. Creds to Fatin.